Sometimes I’ll walk into a class I’m about to teach, and I get nervous. Maybe it’s because I’m trying something new; maybe there are a lot of new people. (There is always that push-pull of wanting to slow down for new clients, yet make the class challenging enough for the regulars.) When I say to the class, “It doesn’t matter what it looks like, only what it feels like,” I’m saying that to myself as well. I find that if I can relieve someone else’s nerves, I‘ve made myself feel calmer, too.
It seems like I am always exhorting people to be easier on and more loving to themselves, yet I am so hard on myself sometimes. When I look at that self-flagellating behavior in myself, I really understand that we all teach what we need to learn.
The reality is, if I can’t be nice to myself, my “niceness” to others is suspect. There were times in my life when I desperately wanted someone to “see” me. But that’s impossible if I can’t find anything in myself that’s worth seeing.
I used to think that if I could find someone to love me unconditionally, then I would be healed. But the truth is that in order to heal that wound, I had to love someone else unconditionally. Only by giving it away could I receive it. You can’t give away what you don’t have, so it must have been there inside me, waiting to be uncovered.
You teach what you need to learn and you give what you need to get. It allows you to be in your power rather than giving your power away. We are all connected. We are all dancing the same dance. What you do for you, you do for everyone else, too.
It’s the first thing you need to do.