Saturday, February 7, 2015


I have written on many Valentine’s Days about how when we first meet our romantic partner, we fall in love with everything – his way of talking, walking, smiling, thinking.  But after a time, some of this thrill towards the other can wear thin.  Even things we used to think were adorable, we now may find annoying.  And that’s normal.  But we say to ourselves, “I was infatuated with this person, I wasn’t really seeing the ‘real’ him.”  And so we feel a little disappointed.

Certainly there are some relationships that need to end.  But even in those cases, in the beginning we still saw the best in our partner.  Sometimes a person gets so alienated from his truth, there's no way for the relationship to flourish.  But when the partnership still works, we don't need to invalidate our initial euphoria.

The truth is that when we saw the other as perfect, that was the truth.  We were seeing our partner transparently; we were seeing his true spirit through the veneer of the material world.  At our core is our spirit and our spirit is perfect – inside we are joyful children – full of love, innocence, simplicity, and trust. 

When children dance, the joy of movement comes from within and we are lucky when we can witness such delight.  It makes our hearts swell to encompass the love we feel in the presence of such innocence and purity.  

As we get older, we often stop ourselves from giving in to the abandon that music can produce in us.  We are afraid that we will look stupid or that we are “showing off.”  

When we observe children dancing, we don’t look for a beautiful “line,” a pointed toe.  We see the spirit of the child expressing itself.  

If only we could treat ourselves with such indulgence.

Whether you have a significant other or not, I propose that this Valentine’s Day, you (and all of us) decide to be infatuated with ourselves.

Within us is our perfect spirit, a beautiful dancing child -- innocent and blissful and pure.  We should never forget who we are, just as we should not lose touch with the truth about our partners.

When we can see this in ourselves, we have changed our lens. We can then see this perfection and beauty in everyone around us.  We can remember that we all have this goodness and happiness within us.

So this Valentine’s Day, let’s learn to be infatuated with ourselves.  It’s the best way to pass that love around.

Photo by MaryEllen Hendricks