Sunday, December 22, 2013

If a Husband is Arguing in the Woods...Part II

In dance class, because dance, music, and movement are powerful emotional catalysts, there is often a lot of projection.  Sometimes the projection is negative – we tell ourselves a story that is just not true.  (Such as, “That woman hates me.”  “She’s making fun of me.” “I’m in everybody’s way.” Et cetera. )

We forget that we all basically have the same struggles…that we are really all in this together.  When we can see this, it is a blessing.  It makes us relax and let down our defenses.

Last week I posted this photo of a newly built house right next door to us.  The lights in the picture are (apparently) coming from the reflection of the sun bouncing off of our house and projecting onto the house next door.
Those lights were always there, we just didn’t see them because there was nothing to catch the light. 

Instead of the neighboring house blocking our light as we feared, we still have plenty.  Plus, we have these beautiful images of light to see next door every day.

Often, your projection onto another is positive; sometimes you are projecting your own light onto someone else. You can reflect and project light, but it can only be seen if there’s something to catch it.

I ask again, if a husband is arguing in the woods, and no one is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

When we see someone else’s light, we are calling forth that same light from within ourselves.  When we acknowledge our own light, we can see it in others, too.

So let yourself acknowledge the light in yourself and others.

It’s there.  You just have to see it. 

Sunday, December 15, 2013

If a Husband is Arguing in the Woods...Part I

We can only really receive a blessing if we are ready to see it.  We are so busy worrying about what might be coming, and focusing on what’s wrong, we forget to appreciate what is right in front of us.

Often we resist seeing the blessing because we just don’t feel worthy…or tragedy has brought us to our knees and seems to have blocked the light for good.

There are blessings and miracles all around us.  But we have to open our hearts and minds in order to receive them. 

The photo is of a newly built house right next door to us.  We were not thrilled about this new house being built so close.  We were afraid it would block the light coming into our house.
It turns out that the fear was baseless. We get just as much light as before the house went up.  Not only do we have plenty of sunlight streaming into our house, we have these lovely images of light on the house next door. 
The lights in the picture are (apparently) coming from the reflection of the sun bouncing off of our house and projecting onto the house next door.  I love seeing them.  Even though it is a small thing, it reminds me to be open to expect the best.

Those lights were always there, we just didn’t see them because there was nothing to catch the light.

Like that old joke: if a husband is arguing in the woods and there is no one there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Let’s be open to receive.  We might not know what the blessing is yet, but we know it’s coming, and it’s a good one.

Even if you are experiencing grief, if you can turn your face to the light for just a moment, you may begin to feel some solace.

In the movie, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” one of the characters, Sonny Kapoor, says, “Everything will be all right in the end.  And if it’s not all right, then it’s not yet the end.”

So be ready to catch the light.

It’s there.  You just have to see it.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Your Own Story

I love to watch dance competitions on television. They are so inspiring and wonderful. But, one thing that bothers me is that in just about every song, the dancers are performing a play whose meaning is very clear. And that’s fine from time to time. Music is always a story of some kind. But sometimes when I watch a dance, I want to decide on my own what the story is. I want to let the music along with the movement of the dancers inspire a story within me.

I want to have my own story.

Sometimes, I will have a client who leaves in the middle of a class. My automatic reaction is, oh, no, what did I do wrong? It must have been something I said/did/danced. After all these years I can realize that there are many reasons (not having anything to do with me) why a person might leave a class.

We all make up stories about what’s happening in our lives. Some are true but some are simply not.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a bad morning and afterwards I had to go to the bank. I was experiencing blowback from my misguided attempt to “help” a situation. I had inadvertently lit the fuse of a social powder keg. I really felt terrible about it.

So I was at the bank standing at a newly hired teller’s window. She said that she was using someone else’s station and that she had to take a little time to do my transaction. This was fine with me – I needed to take a breath anyway. As I was standing with my forehead in my hand, I became aware that the teller again apologized because it was not her regular window. I realized that she thought I was aggravated by her slowness (which I hadn’t even noticed). Her perception was not true at all and I hastened to tell her to take as long as she needed, adding that I had just had a difficult morning and was not in a hurry.

This made me realize that often we read into others’ behavior what is not there at all. The difficulty, the negative judgment, the feelings of inadequacy are all in our own minds. We have created a reaction of defensiveness toward another person or about a situation, which is entirely unnecessary.

There is nothing to defend. We are not being judged at all. We are, in fact, judging ourselves and projecting that judgment onto someone else.

We are making up a story.

When you leave a space in your mind for, “Well, I don’t know.” Or “Let’s see.” Or “I’ll ASK,” you are opening a space for something new to come into your mind. When you decide not to decide about what just happened, you give yourself a new path. You have increased your ability to perceive something different (and maybe wonderful) by about 100%. Yes, sometimes a duck is a duck and a cigar is a cigar, but not always.

Create the space for your own story based, not on fear or defensiveness, but on intuition and inspiration.

What story are you dancing to today?

Sunday, November 17, 2013

No Other Place to Be

Tired of being the disgrace of the neighborhood, I planted a small flower garden around my house a couple of years ago.  I love it.  But I tend to over-tend. I am always afraid of doing something wrong, so I water, fertilize and deadhead, probably a little too much.  This year, the flowers weren’t doing too well.  In the fall, I got really busy and put off the watering, fertilizing and deadheading for a while.  Of course, I felt a little guilty, but after all, it was the end of the season.

Evidently, ignoring my plants was exactly what they needed.  Now I have so many roses, I can’t believe it.  I love this – it is effortless!  I guess I can just stop doing what I was doing and trust nature and the plants to do what it is they are made to do.  They, in their very own DNA, have all they need to grow and flourish.  They don’t need much help.  It’s all inside of them.  They don’t have to strain and try and get their leaves in a twist.  They just ARE.

Nature is in the ultimate state of allowing.  Nature is moment-by-moment.  If we could just stay in the moment and allow, we would hear the Universe calling to us more clearly.  Life is music and we all find our own way to dance to it. 

As a human, sometimes I feel out of nature.  Like I have to try and find a way into the flow that just is.  If I can take a breath, I realize that I am always in the flow.  There is no other place to be.

I found some music the other day that I really like.  Instead of worrying, I told myself to relax.  If the music speaks to me and I am listening, I will hear it and be able to make something out of it; I will be able to allow the music to lead me. 

I always find it fascinating to think that our ears are always hearing. They are always in the “on” position.   But so often we don’t hear when someone is talking to us directly because we are absorbed in something else.  There is nothing wrong with our hearing, we just aren’t receiving.

The Universe is constantly giving, but we forget to open our arms and allow. We forget to dance to the music.  Instead we argue and struggle with it.

Allowing doesn’t mean doing nothing, it means listening and seeing in this moment what is presented to us in the flow of life.

Just like the flowers, we are always in the flow of nature. Our DNA knows just what to do.  It’s all there inside of us.  

If I’m always worried about whether I am doing the right thing, it does not help me grow and flourish in the way I am meant to.  So I am letting go of myself, just as I did the flowers around my house. 

Every day, I go by my kitchen window and see beautiful yellow roses that don’t need me at all (at least not too much).  

They make me smile and remind me to just relax.  

So trust and allow your path to flower. When we allow ourselves to just be, we can grow and flourish exactly the way we are meant to. 

There is no other place to be except in the music of Life.  Dance to it.