Sunday, June 10, 2012


When we dance we can choose to worry about doing it “right,” expressing ourselves, being in the moment or setting any intention that we wish.  We always have a choice about what to believe about ourselves (and everyone and everything else, too).   We have a choice of what to take away or give in any situation. 

These choices color our lives, moment to moment.

I want to share an extraordinary experience I had.  I also want to say that both of my parents were good people. I loved them both.   I believe they did the best they could; if they had known better they would have done better…just like all of us…and I was fortunate to be able to make peace with both of them before they passed.

My parents separated when I was six.  There was a lot of drinking and yelling in our house.  My dad left, but no one told me anything, and I knew better than to ask.   So, since I lived with my mom, I saw my dad very infrequently until I was a teenager.  I never felt that I was (at all) important to him.  I felt easily forgettable.  I loved my dad, but we were never close. He was a conservative Republican WASP, so it is surprising that he loved to read Edgar Cayce (a psychic healer and author who believed in reincarnation).  My dad told one of my sisters that if he could, after he died, he’d come back and try to make contact.

After my dad passed away, I was asleep one night, and he came to me.  When I saw him, he didn’t look the same as I remembered, but still, I knew it was him.  I felt a feeling of perfect bliss running through me.  I said, “Dad, what are you doing here?  I thought you were dead!”  He said, “I’m not dead” and he showed me a piece of paper in his hand.  I thought it was going to be his driver’s license with a picture since he didn’t look the same.  But it was his death certificate.   He said, again, “I’m not dead!”  Still feeling that incredible joy, I said, “I love you, dad,” and hugged him.  He said, “I love you.  I loved you before.  And I love you still.”

I could have chosen to believe that this was my subconscious giving me a dream of something that I longed for that was unresolved in my life.  Or I can think of it the way I do think of it.  I believe that this was “real,” especially because the feeling of it was different than any “dream” I have ever experienced.

I’ve read in many books that “heaven” is not a place, but a state of being.  In the Gospel of Thomas, from The Gnostic Gospels, by Elaine Pagels, “Jesus said…[heaven]… is a state of self-discovery:  ‘Rather the Kingdom is inside of you…What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it…The Kingdom is spread out upon the Earth, but men do not see it.’  That Kingdom then, symbolizes a state of transformed consciousness.”

I love this quote, too:

“‘Tell me one last thing,’ said Harry. ‘Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?’
Dumbledore beamed at him...’Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?’”(J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.)

 So what is real?  It depends on each of us. 

We can choose to find our own heaven and dance there -- every day of our lives.

It is within our power.


I set the goal of writing this blog for 52 weeks.  As I said last week, I will start again in September, but not on a weekly basis.  I want to thank you for taking the time to read what I have written.  I am honored that you did! 

May you be at peace
May your heart remain open
May you awaken to the beauty of your own true nature and your oneness with All That Is
May you be healed
May you find heaven on Earth


Sunday, June 3, 2012

Three Quantum Leaps

I wrote a small book recently that talks about dance as a metaphor for life, quantum physics, and spiritual ideas.  I started writing it as a kind of summary of all the spiritual books I’ve read, personal experiences of myself and my clients over the years, along with how quantum physics supports spiritual thought.

It was called, Choreograph Your Best Life in Three Quantum Leaps.

But, I think I got the three leaps wrong. 

The three leaps I used were:

1)     Understand we are all one, living in the only moment there is.
2)     Choose your perception
3)     Believe, Then See (believing is seeing)

I think these leaps in thinking and perceiving are sound.  But I believe these are transcended by information in the book by Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me.

If I was going to rewrite my book, the three leaps would be:

1)     Love yourself
2)     Trust
3)     Allow

Loving ourselves is the only way we can truly love others.  Since we are all One, loving yourself equals loving everyone else, too. 

Trusting our hearts acknowledges that love.  Trusting is knowing that our answers lie within.

Since time just is (and quantum physics supports this) the tapestry of life is already woven.  Instead of chasing what we want, we need only trust that it already exists and allow it to come into our experience.  What comes into our experience will be colored by our feelings for ourselves and our level of trust in life.

I can compare these three leaps to my own journey with dance.  I had to love myself enough to do what I love to do.  I had to trust that my own heart was speaking the truth and that I should follow it.  And I had to allow life to happen and flow with it. 

Okay, this is my journey with dance—the other parts of my life were not so easily put into this formula. 

But I know that whenever I act from a place of fear or chase what I think I want or try to “fix” other people, life doesn’t really go so well.  I am also aware that the hugest mistakes I’ve made in my life have stemmed from my lack of self-esteem, my inability to love myself.  For this I feel shame, but then I’m ashamed of my shame, so I’m just going to stop.

This process works for me, if I allow it, when doing choreography.  I have to love myself enough to believe I can (still) do it, I have to trust the song, and I have to allow the movement to just come in.  When it doesn’t come in, I have to trust that too and not push the river—knowing that doesn’t work.

I am working on allowing.  I want to leave myself open to not dismissing any experience or perception out-of-hand.  I want to open up to seeing what I haven’t seen.  I no longer want to dismiss miracles as everyday events that would have happened anyway.  I want to appreciate them every day.  And by appreciating them, I can accept more into my life. 
I also don’t want to be weird, but maybe that ship has sailed…….

This is the second-to-last weekly blog.  Next week will be my last one.  I will continue to write, but not weekly.  I will begin again in September. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this!  You teach what you need to learn and everything I’ve written is what I need to learn.  I hope it may have helped you, too.