Attic Monster #1 and "Kashmir

The cover of the song, “Kashmir” as performed by Bond (the original is by Led Zeppelin), is both hard and soft. The image, Attic Monster, always makes me smile because there on top of a building, plants are growing. It reminds me that you can’t stop nature and that softness is not always weakness – it has its own strength.

The rhythms of “Kashmir” suggest strong lines, while the softer melodies are circular. It is the difference between choreography using big, sweeping movement and subtle softer movements. Each is equally evocative and powerful.

Often, when we meet someone who seems “soft,” we are surprised when they stand in their truth and do not waver. We often mistake a strong personality in a person as unfeeling. I took a beloved relative to the hospital one time, and I had to hold it together because my relative was losing it. When I got into a room by myself to talk to a nurse, the moment she asked me how I was, I completely fell apart. The nurse said, “Well, there it is.” She had been wondering, I was sure, how I could be so stoic and unfeeling. That did not help me in the moment – I felt judged as if I were insensitive, for holding everything in. Unfortunately, I then judged her and didn’t really feel like telling her anything but the bare facts, so I could get away from her. Not exactly rational, but I was operating solely on nerves at that point.  We were both at fault, I think. She could have seen beyond my control and I could have seen, if I were willing, her compassion at my situation.

Just like the song and the image, we all have hardness and softness within us. We can’t judge others based on our own reactions. When we give each other a break, when we don’t judge, we bring out the softness in ourselves and we can save the hardness for when we really need it.