Shine

On occasion, when I am teaching, I have an idea to do something different.  Like adding an extra turn onto a tours jete, or adding a leap somewhere different.  Sometimes I find that I can’t achieve it in that moment.  But the times I do succeed, I am so happy with myself that I inadvertently pause and then I am lost in the song and have to catch up. 

It is a moment when I feel a little glow of success.

We all have those little moments of glory. We can pause and feel that happy glow.  And there is always the space to catch up.

Even when the moment is a total train wreck, you can still find your way back.

I am guilty of this (as is almost every woman I know):  Someone gives you a compliment.  You do everything you can to persuade that person that it’s not at all true.  The giver has reflected light on you and you are doing everything you can to stay in the dark.  In effect we are saying, “Don’t see me!” 

There were times in my life where. “Don’t see me!” was really a very healthy attitude.  If you don’t see me, you can’t criticize me or control me.  And even though that can seem safe, it is not.  Hiding serves no one.  You can get so used to hiding that you lose yourself. 

In a past relationship, I denied who I was because I was so afraid of making waves.  I thought if I could just conform and pretend that emotional abuse was not abuse, that I could somehow be happy.  I could pretend that this was what I deserved.  I remember my mother saying to me, “Well, he doesn’t beat you…” as if that was enough to make me stay. 

Writing this takes my breath away.  The habitual denial of who I was caused all kinds of collateral damage.  

I know now that I was really lost, but I caught up…eventually.

When you allow your own unique brilliance, that’s when everyone wins.  We all have a contribution to make, and it all counts.  When we make ourselves small, we are taking light out of the world. 

  

What you cannot do for yourself, you cannot do for others.  You can’t give what you don’t have.

When we allow ourselves to shine, we reflect that onto others.  We have more room in our hearts to allow everyone to shine. 

When you turn on a light, everyone gets to see it, and use it. 

So, when someone acknowledges your light, just say thank you.

Shine.