Sunday, February 5, 2012

Show Yourself

Dance is not really like other forms of movement.  You can spin or do a weight class, but they don’t really require that you show yourself.  In dance, even if no one is watching, you have no choice but to reveal yourself in the movement.  Music is emotional and dance expresses that emotion. 

We are doing a Valentine’s Day party at our studio.  And there are a couple of people who are dancing (on video or live) as a valentine for their significant other.  This is such a show of vulnerability, and vulnerability is an expression of trust. And love.  It is the sweetest thing. 

It makes me think of that phenomenon when a hunted animal shows its jugular to another, and the dominant animal stops attacking.  It’s a surrender and an admission of a truth: “You are physically stronger than I am and I acknowledge that.”  There is no shame in that acknowledgement.  There is real strength.    

I have been in relationships where I have deliberately shown my vulnerability, and I have had to pay for it.  I learned that the price of showing my true self to someone who can’t receive it means humiliation. In that relationship, I thought the best thing would be to lock myself away forever, so no one could see that part of me again.  However, that really doesn’t work if you actually want to have a life that is authentic. 

Have you ever noticed that when you have a negative emotion, airing it in the light of day, to someone you love, completely changes that thought?  Like the thought, “I am jealous,” when you actually express it, it loses its power.  Like a wound, if you cover it up, it can fester.  But if you expose it to light, it heals. When you admit, “I am jealous,” it can seem laughable, but you can also change that jealousy to admiration and maybe even inspiration.

Admitting vulnerability or saying to someone, “I want to show this to you.  I want to dance for you,” is an act of trust and an offering of love.  It is exposing yourself to the light; it is healing.

Let’s learn to really show ourselves to those we love.  It is a gift.  It makes our relationships deeper and it makes us stronger in the truth of who we are. 

Here is a link to and a wonderful talk by Brene Brown about “The Power of Vulnerability.”

1 comment:

  1. Wow! Although I immediately recognized the Truth of your blog while reading it, I can honestly say that I never thought about it in that way. I am still stunned!