Sunday, February 12, 2012

For Valentine's Day, or: Infatuation Is Really Underrated

You can dance with someone and really not be in sync.  You can be stepping all over each other.  But, if you really like the person or if this is a romantic relationship, it just doesn’t matter.  You delight in your partner’s goofiness or lack of coordination. 

After you’ve been with your partner for a while, you might feel that dancing together is not so cute anymore.  The stumbling no longer delights you.  It annoys you.

Remember when you met your significant other?  You were so in love that everything that person did and said was wonderful.  This person seemed perfect to you and for you.  It was bliss.

In the beginning of your relationship, you delighted in your partner’s little eccentricities and habits.  You embraced them, thought they were adorable.  Well now they are just irritating.  You sigh and look back at that beginning and think that you were infatuated.  You think that infatuation caused you to see your partner as perfect.  You think your infatuation was a lie, an illusion.

I’ve been through divorces (two) and break-ups (many) and I know that sometimes the relationship just does not work.  Sometimes it’s just hell and you have to get out. Now.

But, if you still love your partner, here’s a thought:  In the beginning, when you saw your partner as perfect and beautiful, that was the truth.  The little, petty annoyances are the illusion and the lie.  At the start of your relationship you saw, with a heightened perception born of real love, who your partner really is underneath the words and the veneer we all have.  That was not just infatuation; your partner’s perfection is the truth.  Your own perfection that lies beneath the words and the mask is also the truth. 

Love propels us to a higher vibration where we can see what’s true. 

That perfection is within us all.  We need only acknowledge it. 


  1. Sue, I always enjoy reading your posts, and this one moved me to comment. I love your point of view and find it so valuable to view things in a positive way. We do lose patience and understanding with the ones we love when in fact, it is with them that we should show the most patience and understanding! Happy Valentine's Day to you and thanks for sharing!

    1. Thank YOU Michelle! You make a wonderful point--Happy valentine's day to you, too!

  2. I so agree with you on all you said, Susie! And don't you think that when we learn from our past relationships, we end up being more KIND to (and patient with) our future partners? I have found that the ways in which I failed my Ex have made me very aware of NOT doing those same things in my current relationship. As I said to him recently, someone else is now reaping the benefits from what he and I learned NOT to do. :-) Also recently..., immediately after my current beau and I had exchanged (our first) unpleasant words..., I actually suggested that we share what it was that we saw in one another that attracted us to each other in the first place. I said that at times like this, we need to remind ourselves of why we love each other. It helped heal the hurt very quickly because we were once again looking at each other not through the eyes of fear..., but through the eyes of love. Only through the eyes of love do we see the truth! Happy Valentine's Day to my dear friend who, through my eyes, always has been and will be perfect. xo

  3. Happy valentine's day to you, Jo Ann and thank you so much for your wise words and kindness! XXOOX