Although your body is always right about your true feelings, it does not always give you the right messages about how to move forward in your life. Just like your body has memory and associates certain music with specific movement, your behavior can get set in patterns.
The body is the last place to integrate new behaviors and is also the last place to let go of old behaviors. So the behavior you may have used as a child to survive in your family, for instance, may continue to feel “right” in your body, even though you can see that these old behaviors no longer serve you.
I have a terrible time with any kind of confrontation. I am addicted to harmony—but no one can have harmony all the time. That’s why it’s an addiction; sometimes it’s just pretend harmony, like “I’m-dancing-as-fast-as-I-can-harmony” or “Birthday Cake” harmony*. So, I am the Queen of Avoidance. I will do just about anything to avoid unpleasantness. I know (rather than feel) this avoidant behavior is wrong. As a result, I have shame and then I’m ashamed of my shame—it just goes on and on. Wouldn’t it be easier to speak my truth and get it over with?
I have a therapist who has helped me meet conflict rather than run and hide from it. So, after screwing up my courage and facing the “battle” armed with my truth, my body is screaming, “STOP! YOU’RE WRONG! NO!” However, in my thoughts, I reason it out very logically and I recognize that facing conflict with my own truth is right—even if my body has not yet internalized it.
I have had to face conflict many times before my body would “come along.” I will probably always have trouble with confrontation, but my body has integrated the new behavior much better than I thought it ever would.
The body is the last part of you to integrate new behaviors, and the last to let go of the old. Your body still will never lie to you about your true feelings. It’s just that sometimes those feelings have to be released and replaced with more healthy ones.
*See “Birthday Cake and Am I Dancing Too Fast?” Posted 6/26/11