Your Center, Part II or Letting Go (Again)

Dance, physically, originates from your core. The emotional experience of dance comes from your truth.  You move from what’s true at your center rather than what “looks good” or what’s extraneous – a process of letting go of what it looks like and dancing what’s true for you. 

You can’t make anyone else dance the way you want them to.  You can only affirm that they dance from their own truth.  Not yours.  You can validate their path, their truth, their way.  You have your own, as everyone does. 

I was thinking about how much letting go is, at least for me, the crux of the process that leads to joy and (dare I say it?) good things happening.  There was a time when I didn’t (couldn’t) answer my phone.  It rang and I was filled with unmanageable anxiety.  Even now the phone rings and I have to remind myself that it’s okay -- I can answer it and not implode.  I’m safe.

 

In reality, I was always safe, I just didn’t know it.  I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to hold my breath to ensure that everyone else could breathe.  I didn’t know that my being a time bomb waiting to be activated wasn’t really helping anyone, especially not me. 

When I realized that worrying and managing and taking Lunesta night after night so I could, please God, get some  $&&^^^*%$%#  sleep was only making me more of a pitiful wreck, I finally let go.  Kicking and screaming, yes, but I did it. 

And everything changed. 

I could breathe.  I could sleep (mostly).  But I had to trust that there was something bigger than me – call it the All That Is, the Higher Self, whatever -- that knew what it was doing and I had to let it be.   I had to get out of the way.  The funny thing is that I never had responsibility for the choices made by the people I love, even though I thought I did. 

All I can do is love them and see them as who they truly are at their core, regardless of how they might be showing up.  They are Light. Love. Joy.  As we all are.

These people I love each found their own path, in their own way.  And it really was (and is) miraculous. 

All the surface stuff is just that: surface.  I had to learn to trust what was true, what was at the core. 

And the truth, as always, is love.