Bricks

After class one day last week, I made a comment about what I wanted to work on this year:  the dropping of old hurts and resentments.  I understand that holding onto to resentment is hurtful to me not to the object of my irritation.  Every grudge is like a brick I have to carry on my back.  And it’s tough to dance with a load of bricks on your back.  Whenever I’ve been able to let go of resentment, I really have felt lighter, freer and happier in every area of my life.  

So why is it so hard to do?

Five minutes after I announced my intention to drop resentment, I was referring to a relative as s***head.  Oh, and her husband, too.

I was already off the wagon.

I truly want to drop all the nonsense of holding grudges, so what stops me?  Why is my knee-jerk reaction to call someone a s***head? 

Yes, it’s very satisfying on a “lower-self” level, but it doesn’t serve me.  At all.

So now, I’m working on two things: to drop the bricks and be nice to myself while I’m changing my default switch.  I have been thinking about ways to do this:

 Look at a person from a different perspective – through a different lens. 

Remember that we all have our challenges and that you can never really know what’s going on inside another person and what lens she’s looking through.

However, I need something simpler than that if I’m going to make any progress.

Upon reflection, I think the best way to accomplish this is to just, in every moment, choose love.

Love helps us to be compassionate about the foibles of others and of ourselves.  Love allows us to give each other a break.  Love remembers to be kind.  Love remembers that our faults are really places where we’ve been wounded.  Love sees only the light in another and acknowledges the light in ourselves.

Love is the music; life is the dance.

Love lifts the bricks off our shoulders and sets us free.