I have written on many Valentine’s Days
about how when we first meet our romantic partner, we fall in love with
everything – his way of talking, walking, smiling, thinking. But after a time, some of this thrill towards
the other can wear thin. Even things we
used to think were adorable, we now may find annoying. And that’s normal. But we say to ourselves, “I was infatuated
with this person, I wasn’t really seeing the ‘real’ him.” And so we feel a little disappointed.
Certainly there are some relationships that need to end. But even in those cases, in the beginning we still saw the best in our partner. Sometimes a person gets so alienated from his truth, there's no way for the relationship to flourish. But when the partnership still works, we don't need to invalidate our initial euphoria.
Certainly there are some relationships that need to end. But even in those cases, in the beginning we still saw the best in our partner. Sometimes a person gets so alienated from his truth, there's no way for the relationship to flourish. But when the partnership still works, we don't need to invalidate our initial euphoria.
The truth is that when we saw the
other as perfect, that was the
truth. We were seeing our partner
transparently; we were seeing his true spirit through the veneer of the
material world. At our core is our
spirit and our spirit is perfect – inside we are joyful children – full of
love, innocence, simplicity, and trust.
When children dance, the joy of
movement comes from within and we are lucky when we can witness such
delight. It makes our hearts swell to
encompass the love we feel in the presence of such innocence and purity.
As we get older, we often stop
ourselves from giving in to the abandon that music can produce in us. We are afraid that we will look stupid or
that we are “showing off.”
When we observe children dancing, we
don’t look for a beautiful “line,” a pointed toe. We see the spirit of the child expressing itself.
If only we could treat ourselves
with such indulgence.
Whether you have a significant other
or not, I propose that this Valentine’s Day, you (and all of us) decide to be
infatuated with ourselves.
Within us is our perfect spirit, a
beautiful dancing child -- innocent and blissful and pure. We should never forget who we are, just as we
should not lose touch with the truth about our partners.
When we can see this in ourselves,
we have changed our lens. We can then see this perfection and beauty in
everyone around us. We can remember that
we all have this goodness and happiness within us.
So this Valentine’s Day, let’s learn
to be infatuated with ourselves. It’s
the best way to pass that love around.
Photo by MaryEllen Hendricks
